Most people cringe when they realize their day in the sun is over—or, more kindly stated, when their day in the sun has turned into an evening in the twilight. I know it seriously pained my ego the first time I was called “ma’am” and the person who said it really meant it. Or when I realized those gray hairs really were here to stay.

Though, from what I hear from my clients, being called ma’am or admitting we’re getting (ouch!) old is nothing compared to being labled a “has-been.”

This is one of those very common points in the arc of fame. Almost every “Somebody” does become a “Nobody” or worse, a “Who? I don’t remember you!” It’s ridiculously common, yet can be so painful that nobody likes to talk about it. Perhaps because ‘fame’ in this country is so present moment that to admit the moment ends kind of messes with the whole illusion and tarnishes the American Dream… (more…)

In Rhonda Britten’s book, Change Your Life in 30 Days, she asks the question, “Are you making it up or is it true?” Designed for people to ask themselves when they find they are beating themselves up, making assumptions about some situation that’s bothering them.

We all tend to tell ourselves fantastically creative (yet thoroughly untrue) stories about what the other people in our lives are thinking or intending when they’re interacting with us. And one solution Rhonda offers, for the cases where clarification or verification is impossible, is to “Make it up GOOD!”

Meaning, if you’re going to make up intentions and reasons for the behavior of others, the LEAST you can do is make up a story that’s EMPOWERING to your self esteem.

Case in point: as many of you know, I’ve been single for a LONG time, and it’s been at least 12 months since I even considered liking a guy. Well, I met one I liked. I got all the signs a woman tends to get when a guy likes her and, scary as it was for me, I decided to give liking him a try. This was a HUGE step for me, as I have the frighteningly great skill of being as celibate as a nun for vast amounts of time when I feel that dating is out of my comfort zone… (more…)